Tie Bike Snob NYC
Tie Bike Snob NYC, the latest self-proclaimed prophet of pedal-powered truth, here to remind you that no matter what bike you ride, you’re doing it wrong. Got a fixie? You’re a hipster cliché. Ride a carbon fiber road bike? You’re obviously compensating for something. Roll on a cargo bike? Congratulations, you’re single-handedly blocking the bike lane and hauling artisanal gluten-free despair to your nearest farmer’s market.
This week, Tie Bike Snob NYC tears into the latest trend: gravel bikes with more bags than a Kennedy Airport luggage carousel. Apparently, we’re now expected to carry 37 pouches of granola just to bike 12 miles to the next overpriced coffee shop. Of course, this is all done in the name of “bikepacking,” which, as Tie Bike Snob points out, is just camping with more chain lube and fewer bears. And don’t even get him started on e-bikes. If your bike has a motor, you’re either commuting smartly or betraying the sacred purity of leg-powered travel — there is no in-between.
Still, for all his sarcasm, there’s a twisted kind of love underneath the layers of snark. Because despite the potholes, the angry cab drivers, and the passive-aggressive pelotons in Central Park, we all keep riding. And maybe that’s the point — whether you’re a Lycra-clad weekend warrior or just someone trying not to die on your Citi Bike, we’re all part of this wonderfully ridiculous two-wheeled circus. Tie Bike Snob NYC is just the guy yelling from the sidelines, making sure we don’t take ourselves too seriously.
